| 1 | Certain leaders in government look or act like certain pop culture references! | David Cross | 4:51 |
| 2 | Women, please rinse off your vagina and anus! | David Cross | 5:10 |
| 3 | I’ve taken a popular contemporary pop song and changed the lyrics to comment on the proliferation of Starbucks in my neighborhood! | David Cross | 3:16 |
| 4 | A rapid series of comical noises! | David Cross | 3:57 |
| 5 | Although indigent, rural families have little to say in the matter, third rate public education has kept them ignorant and thus, great sources of ridicule! | David Cross | 2:48 |
| 6 | My child is enthralling, especially when it says something unexpectedly precocious even though it doesn’t understand what it just said! | David Cross | 8:38 |
| 7 | My immigrant mom talks funny! | David Cross | 13:37 |
| 8 | When it comes to Jews, behavior one might perceive as obnoxious and annoying I present as “quirky” but it’s okay to joke about it because I, myself, am Jewish! | David Cross | 6:01 |
| 9 | Pandering to the locals! | David Cross | 7:13 |
| 10 | Even though I am in the closet, that won’t prevent me from getting cheap laughs at the expense of homosexuals! | David Cross | 2:37 |
| 11 | Weathermen have become, for the most part, obsolete! | David Cross | 2:53 |
| 12 | When all is said and done, I am lonely and miserable and barely able to mask my contempt for the audience as I trot out the same sorry act I’ve been doing since the mid‐eighties! | David Cross | 12:51 |