| 1 | How to Become a Virgin | The Locust | 0:48 |
| 2 | Who Wants a Dose of the Clap? | The Locust | 0:58 |
| 3 | Twenty-Three Lubed-Up Schizophrenics With Delusions of Grandeur | The Locust | 0:52 |
| 4 | Priest With the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Get Out of My Bed | The Locust | 0:36 |
| 5 | The Half-Eaten Sausage Would Like to See You in His Office | The Locust | 0:50 |
| 6 | Perils of Believing in Round Squares | The Locust | 0:58 |
| 7 | Flash’s Theme | The Locust | 0:57 |
| 8 | Gluing Carpet to Your Genitals Does Not Make You a Cantaloupe | The Locust | 0:50 |
| 9 | Turning Your Merchandise Into a Ripped Wall of Mini-Abs | The Locust | 0:38 |
| 10 | Bring Your 6.5 Italian Carbine | The Locust | 0:43 |
| 11 | Alas, Here Come the Hypochondriacs to Wait With You in the Lobby | The Locust | 0:43 |
| 12 | Siphoning Projectiles During Selective Amnesia | The Locust | 1:05 |
| 13 | Flight of the Wounded Locust | The Locust | 2:37 |
| 14 | Get Off the Cross, the Wood Is Needed | The Locust | 0:42 |
| 15 | Wet Nurse Syndrome Hand-Me-Down Display Case | The Locust | 0:34 |
| 16 | This Is Radio Surgery | The Locust | 0:41 |
| 17 | Spitting in the Faces of Fools as a Source of Nutrition | The Locust | 0:46 |
| 18 | Sever the Toes | The Locust | 0:53 |
| 19 | Well I’ll Be a Monkey’s Uncle | The Locust | 1:00 |
| 20 | Moth-Eaten Deer Head | The Locust | 1:13 |
| 21 | Brand New Set of Teeth | The Locust | 0:38 |
| 22 | How to Build a Pessimistic Lie Detector | The Locust | 0:41 |
| 23 | Nice Tranquil Thumb in Mouth | The Locust | 0:46 |
| 24 | Dog Without a Collar (Run Over Red Rover) | The Locust | 0:29 |
| 25 | Normal Run of the Muck (Compensation for Conversation) | The Locust | 0:33 |
| 26 | Stucco Obelisks Labeled as Trees | The Locust | 0:45 |
| 27 | Straight From the Horse’s Mouth | The Locust | 1:11 |
| 28 | An Extra Piece of Dead Meat | The Locust | 0:39 |
| 29 | Twenty-Three Full-Time Cowboys | The Locust | 1:05 |
| 30 | Backbones of Jack Asses | The Locust | 1:26 |
| 31 | Fixed Companionship, Ghost Town Irrationality | The Locust | 0:37 |
| 32 | Skin Graft at Seventy-Five Miles Per Hour | The Locust | 0:42 |
| 33 | High-Maintenance Libido, Bring the Whole Family | The Locust | 0:58 |
| 34 | Halfway to a Worthless Ideal Arrangement (An interlude to a Discontinued Sarcastic Harmony… Yea Whatever) | The Locust | 0:49 |
| 35 | Kill Roger Hedgecock | The Locust | 0:47 |
| 36 | Hairspray Suppository | The Locust | 0:49 |
| 37 | Cattle Mutilation | The Locust | 0:27 |
| 38 | Prepare to Qualify | The Locust | 0:33 |
| 39 | Pain Reliever | The Locust | 0:29 |
| 40 | Off by a Long Shot | The Locust | 0:42 |
| 41 | #99 | The Locust | 0:29 |
| 42 | Head Hits Concrete | The Locust | 0:48 |
| 43 | Ass Gravity | The Locust | 0:37 |
| 44 | Keep Off the Tracks | The Locust | 1:20 |